Just Call Me Esther

“If you stay silent during this time, deliverance for the Jews will come from somewhere, but you, my child, and all of your father’s family will die. And who knows? Perhaps you have been made queen for such a time as this.”

- Esther 4:14

For such a time as this…

I have always admired the story of Esther in the Bible. Esther was a revolutionary; a woman ready and willing to deny herself for the sake of her people. Hadassah, being her name of origin, meaning myrtle tree. What’s in a name might you ask? I’ll tell you; one’s identity, one’s purpose. When reading scripture, we must always be reminded that we serve a very intentional God. Therefore, there is meaning behind everything. Once you start connecting the dots, you find yourself feeling like Auntie Oprah and having many back to back “aha” moments! So let’s take a closer look at the meaning of Hadassah. Symbolic of the name, myrtle trees represent wellness, prosperity, and abundance. Additionally, tracing back to its roots in Judaism, myrtle trees signify life and fertility. Let’s dig a bit deeper…

The root of her birth name represents life and fertility; the root of her cause lied in the preservation of her people-ensuring their lives and livelihoods. Wow! As we journey through this biblical passage, Hadassah was regarded as one of the most beautiful women in the land. After Queen Vashti’s refusal to be paraded amongst her husband and his friends, King Xerxes banished her from his presence. Soon after he ordered a decree, summoning every beautiful virgin in the land to come to the palace –in hopes of crowning a new Queen. Fearing that her life would be at stake due to her racial/cultural background, Hadassah’s cousin Mordecai the Jew (whom had raised her since becoming an orphan after her parents died), changed her name to Esther, meaning “star”. With Esther’s compromised identity, she quickly gained favor in the royal palace with Hegai, the King’s eunuch. While all of the beautiful virgins were spoiled with beauty treatments and living their best lives, in hopes of ruling as Queen alongside King Xerxes, Esther was given exclusive and preferential VIP treatment! Ladies (and maybe some fellas), can you imagine? This is not just your normal $120 sixty minute massage at your local spa; this was an endless spa date lasting for an entire year! I mean…ummm…uhhhh…can you sign me up? Geez!

As the story progresses, Esther was summoned to meet King Xerxes. Upon laying eyes on her, it was love at first sight for him and just like that –she became Queen! With beauty and favor on her side, Esther remained humbled. King Xerxes was ready and willing to give Esther anything and everything she wanted! Shifting back to her purpose, she wanted freedom for her people.  It is when the enemy surfaced threw the face of Haman, that this became ever so clear. At that moment, for such as time as this, Esther was put in a position…while occupying her position…to stand up for her people.

“Haman then spoke with King Xerxes. There is an odd set of people scattered through the provinces of your kingdom who don’t fit in. Their customs and ways are different from those of everybody else. Worse, they disregard the king’s laws. They’re an affront, the king shouldn’t put up with them. If it please the king, let orders be given that they be destroyed.” Esther 3: 8-9

Does this sound familiar to you at all? At this very moment, America is facing chaos and crisis, through racial divide. Those in our present populations that are marginalized; those that “don’t fit in” -better yet- a term that we’ve recently adapted: fitting the description. It was “these people” that posed a threat to Haman and through his efforts of “purity preservation”, he began making plans to carry out a campaign of genocide. It was then that Mordecai and Esther began exchanging information and devising a plan. Esther called a fast for her people and although the surety of her facing death by entering King Xerxes presence without invitation was ever near to her, she boldly declared,

“If I die, I die.” ~Esther 4:16

As the story continues, Esther uncovers her identity, King Xerxes meets her request, and through the power of her voice, she ends up redeeming a nation –redeeming herself and her people. Esther, a teenager who changed a nation!

Let me shift to a recent conversation I had with my Dad…

One of the best storytellers I know, he shared a childhood story with me, which is so befitting for this time…this season…this devotion. As a little girl, my Dad recalls a city outing that he took me on. As we boarded our bus, I had laid my eyes on one seat, refusing to follow him. He beckoned for me and looking him straight in the eye, I made my way towards a seat that I was adamant about sitting in. According to him, I would not budge not one bit! After sharing that story, he later texted me that, “Even as a little baby girl, you were always so bold and independent.” Perhaps you would say that this was my form of a protest, “Rosa Parks, 1955”. Lol. Instead, re-labeled, “Adena Arceneaux, 1984”.

Whatever the case, justice raids my soul and permeates my very being. Something –without hesitation-that I’ve always fought for. Like me, Esther’s people were on the brink of a massacre; distressing to say the least! But with courage and boldness by her side, she petitioned the king on their behalf –sacrificing herself-for the sake of her people. Justice mattered that much to Hadassah (life and fertility)…that much to Esther (our star)! Thanks be to God, for her voice that redeemed a nation!

So when I say that I embody the spirit of Esther…let it be so! Due to recent events (although history speaks for itself, as this has been ongoing for centuries) concerning police brutality, racism, and systemic oppression in the Black and African-American community –hitting close to home for me, as I am a Black woman- I’ve taken residence on multiple platforms, beseeching those of influence, to hear my cries, create action, and promote change. You see, these matters are extremely important to me, as we are living in a society where I “fit the description”; my people are still being preyed upon. But I hear Maranda Curtis singing this song, like only she can sing it…

“Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness…my God, that is who you are…”

 All it takes is ONE.

I envision that like me, there are Esthers of many colors on the front lines fighting for justice and equality on behalf of their people! Let our voices rise up and be heard…for our nation is depending upon us.

Son Shine Down on Me

Growth is a beautiful thing…

On Sunday March 22nd I started my outdoor patio garden, which has now become my safe haven. Rain or shine, you can find me out here basking in the glorious beauty of nature surrounding me! As I prepare to pick up my dainty water can and sprinkle my soil with droplets of water, I discover how quickly my seedlings have bloomed! My parsley sits perfectly upright and perched, my mint is majestic, my oregano is outstanding, and my basil is bountiful! Spring is here as I peer to the right and see that my pink geraniums are gracious, my harmony purple stocks are splendid, and my yellow osteospermums are overflowing! I watch as they all sway and float delicately in the breeze, waving to me with their vibrant colorings. As I prepare to depart and move on with the rest of the day’s happenings, I sigh in gratitude and kindly thank the sun for shining down on them.

Photosynthesis has taken place. As I reflect on the terminology of photosynthesis, embedded in its definition is the process by which plants (and other living organisms) use to harness energy from the sun, in order to create/synthesize food. As a human population, photosynthesis is crucial to our very being and livelihood.

When taking this concept and applying it to our spiritual lives, we too go through a process of photosynthesis. You see, when the Son, the Son of God and our living Savior, enters into our lives, that’s when our photosynthesis process takes place. As we begin to let His light shine on and through our lives…that’s when true growth begins! Even when the winds blow, may we be like trees planted by streams of water, yielding fruit in its season.

“And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

~Psalm 1:3

Life is limitless when we allow the process of photosynthesis to take over in our lives! So just as I would serenade my preschoolers, I belt out in song, “Oh Mr. Sun, Sun…Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me!” The only exception is, my Sun is replaced with THE SON.

Be Still

I hear this phrase, as my mind races anxiously from one thought to the next. Should I make this move, should I not? Should I begin this new business venture, should I not? Should I seek to further prove my worth or find validation in my place of business, should I not? Should I embark upon this new relationship that is presented before me, or should I not? How can one simply “be still” when such a myriad of decisions await your answers? But yet, I keep hearing that distinct soft voice that whispers, “Be still.” You see, the challenge is that this can be very situational for me. On one hand, there are those things that I just naturally trust God with -like my life- because I know He’s got it…and me…in the palm of His hand. Then there are those times when I find myself like Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory  who has her eyes fixated on the golden goose as she screams, “Give it to me now!” The latter reverberates often times.  And again, there goes that good ol’ faithful voice saying…

“Be still, and know that I am God.” ~Psalm 46:10

It is in this moment where I stop and respond, “Okay Lord. Besides what you’re saying to me in this moment…what are you teaching me?” That’s when a familiar song comes to heart,

“Be still and know, that I am God…Just trust and know, that I am God…And I’m in control, I am still…God” ~Travis Greene

Looking back, the year 2018 was an eventful year for me, to say the least. Winter was hibernation season, as I prepared to close out my last semester of graduate school. By Spring, a new love interest had sprung.  Around the bend was Summer, which marked celebrating another year of life. By late Fall, I was summoned to Seattle to interview for a new job opportunity within my company. By early Winter, I received the promotion and within three months, I found myself settling in the state of Washington as a Seattleite; a dream birthed in 2014 and now my reality. Once arriving to Seattle, I was under the impression that there would be some pieces of the puzzle easier to manipulate as opposed to others; but my assumptions failed to be true. I found myself questioning God and wondering how everything else pertaining to this transition seemed seamless…except for that one piece. I petitioned God a many of days and spent a many of nights not “being still” and trying to make sense  of some things that to me just made sense. I remember one Sunday morning entering into a new church and feeling like from start to finish…every prayer prayed, song sang, and word spoken was custom tailored for me. When the service came to a close, the pastor prayed for me -knowing nothing about me- and she said, “I keep hearing be still; God is saying, be still…just be still. God is going to go before you and fight this battle.” All I could do was weep uncontrollably in agreement, because I knew it to be so true.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” ~Exodus 14:14

A song rang in my spirit…

Through your story is My fingerprint…in the valley, there is confidence. In the shadow, I will be your strength…One thing’s for sure, I am  your Lord…Yes I am. I am, I am. Through the chaos, I will be your joy . When you’re finished, I have so much more…In the waiting, I’m an open door…stand still and know, I am your Lord…” ~Travis Greene & Steffany Gretzinger

Oh how this song flooded my soul! Over the course of years and even present day, God has been using the most uncanniest of ways and people alike to remind me of His message to me for this ordained season in my life. You see, being still will cost you; how much are you willing to pay? The fees accrued will be in the areas of patience, faith, trust, and at times excruciating pain, discomfort like none other, much discipline, and self-control. Its losing yourself…crucifying your desires…and letting Him reign in you, because in the end it is promised to work out for your good. I love how the book of Romans shares,

“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” ~Romans 8:18

I’ll readily admit, being still is still a work in progress for me. But I’m making strides daily…hourly…”minute-ly”. I have a feeling that in some ways, I will still need Jesus to whisper, “Be still.”  But in this moment, standing on the other side of being still and witnessing the manifestation of my prayers, it feels good. I would do it all over again, because through the uncertainties, it has increased my faith, built my trust, and kept me hopeful, knowing that God’s in control -even in the details-and He’s got me. All I need to do is rest in Him and His promises. I am His…and I am loved. With that…BE STILL my soul.

Show Me Your Face

I woke up this morning with this song resonating in my heart. The chorus goes a little something like this, “Put me in a place…where I can see Your face…” and it just continues to repeat and modulate. Without fail, every time the song gets to this point, my spirit continues to intensify, because its something about the way it strikes my soul! I think of a lover longing for their love…longing to be in their presence. Whether near or far, you cry out of desperation, “Show me your face!” There may have been some bumps along the way in the relationship, where grace and mercy was needed, but pride aside…show me your face! This brings me to Moses when he pleas with God and says, “Now show me your glory!”

“Then show me your glorious presence.” ~Exodus 33:18

God responds by saying that no one can see His face and live, but offers something else instead:

“…I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will call out my name, Yahweh, before you…but you may not look directly at my face, for no one may see me and live.” ~Exodus 33:19

Imagine that! God caused all of His goodness to pass in front of Moses and proclaimed His OWN name! Wow! God is so GREAT, that we can’s even stand -both literally and mentally- to see Him! Talk about power! But instead He allows His goodness to pass before us! Here, more than our mere request, God is offering something greater…something that we can actually withstand to behold. Amazing!

“For surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” ~Psalm 23:6

Some modern biblical translations use the word pursue in lieu of follow. Whatever it is, I’ll take it!

When you consider the prophet Moses from his birth to his death, he was a man that walked closely with God. Viewing his life story, we see Moses hidden by his mother in a basket; navigating the waters of the Nile River as an infant to escape the annihilation of Hebrew-boy newborns, later to be discovered by the daughter of Pharaoh, adopted, and raised as an Egyptian in the royal palace. Now we hail Moses as Prince of Egypt! Who would’ve thought that during his time of reign, he would be on the run…fleeing the palace for his life as a fugitive with a price on his head for murder. Yes, murder. As Moses resorted to a life of exile, it was there that he encountered the Lord and the notorious account of the burning bush takes place. As his life story continues, Moses begins to act as a -what we would call now a days – social change agent. On behalf of the children of Israel, God begins to use him in mighty and miraculous ways! For instance, we can recall the parting of the Red Sea, water pouring out of a rock, the receiving of the ten commandments, and I won’t spoil it…you’ll have to read the rest for yourself!

So to reiterate and recap…

We have Moses -abandoned as a baby to be spared from execution, who later turns into a prince, who then morphs into a shepherd of flock, and ultimately a shepherd of people leading them to the Promise Land. But on the contrary, you also see weaved into Moses’ story the time spent wandering in the wilderness for forty years; as a leader, enduring the ongoing complaints of finicky followers; and suffering from an identity crisis and dealing with his own self-doubts and self-admitted insecurities. Given Moses’ history, it’s fair to say that there were times where he questioned his identity and his place in society. And here in this chapter of Exodus, we find him…in this verse…at this place in his life where he is crying out, “God show me your glory!” A reader might wonder, “Haven’t you see enough of God’s glory? Enough to leave no room for doubt about his greatness? Moses…you are one of the ones that has walked as close to God than any of us ever will…so what’s up?” And yet…he demands, “SHOW ME YOUR GLORY!”God’s response blows my mind, because he tells Moses that He will proclaim His own name! Whoa! And we know God to be Yahweh…the I AM THAT I AM!

If you think even for a moment that I chose to recount the essence of this story twice due to failed memory, you’re wrong. This was an intentional act to get you to really absorb the message that I’m trying to convey. Do you ever find yourself like Moses in the middle of an identity crisis? Finding it hard to fit in? Battling with your insecurities? Struggling…even though you know you’ve been called by God? What is your Exodus? What are you exiting from? What “promise land” is God trying to take you to?

My prayer is that after reading this devotion, these questions will jump start you into rediscovering who you are, whom God says you are, and grant you opportunities to digest, accept, and walk into the calling that God has placed on your life!

“…I am chosen, not forsaken…I am who You say I am…You are for me…not against me…I am who You say I am…” ~Hillsong Worship

When Birds Sing at Sunrise

April 3, 2020

It’s 3:34am and I’m finding myself wide awake and unable to get back to sleep. Was it something I ate? Too much Netflix binging? Stress? Worry? Fret? I couldn’t pinpoint one specific thing and then the battle to go back to bed began! I wrestled back and forth…tossing and turning…and no luck. Finally, I resolve to just looking up at the ceiling and counting sheep, until it dawns on me: I should pray.

As I quieted myself (as if the environment weren’t quiet enough at now 5:00am), I begin to open up my heart and started reflecting. You see, from the outside looking in, my life had seemingly been turned upside down. Due to this COVID-19 pandemic that our nation was now currently facing, I was set to be furloughed from my job until further notice. Facing this novel situation brought on some anxiety undeniably, but I ultimately knew that I had to place this in God’s hands-trusting Him entirely. But the reality is, sometimes it takes your humanity to “catch up” with your spirituality; I wish it weren’t that way at times -but it is. So here I am, having carved out a solo life out here in Seattle, with ambitions on furthering my professional career and working towards opening and building a counseling practice, now facing furlough. What about my sustenance? My dreams? My ambitions? I found myself questioning God saying, “You answered my prayers and brought me here; a city I fell in love with years ago (I love Portland more, but thats beside the point!) and now what am I supposed to do? Its often said where you guide you provide…so now what?”

As day breaks and I peer out the window to see the sunrise, I start to hear the birds chirping. A smile sweeps across my face and I just listen to them engaging in song. All of a sudden, this scripture comes to mind:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they?”

~Matthew 6:25-26

Oh what a gentle reminder of God saying, “I’ve got you; no need to worry.” There’s no coincidences with God. These birds were just at the right window, in the right tree, at the right time singing His faithfulness over my life! God is so good! I began to thank Him for quieting my soul with that scripture and as I continued to give praise and thanks, another scripture dropped in my spirit, found in Psalm:

“I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine.” ~Psalm 50:11

I cry out, “God, I know your speaking to me and reassuring me of your presence and provision! I surrender and submit all unto you and trust that in this season, you will be my provider and sustainer! You are the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills…the God who knows every strand of hair on my head by name. Surely, you will take care of me and believing that you will do so in a fashion that proceeds your reputation!” So with that God, I declare:

“I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me.”

~Psalm 57:2

So to those sparrows, robins, and finches breaking out in song at sunrise, thank you! For you are God’s instrument…serenading the faithfulness of God over my life!